I was on my way back to college when my mother calls me... My mother is very well known for being a hypochondriac and she also likes to use her back to make all sorts of excuses. Here's a prime example.
Mother:Honey, didn't you have a laser mouse with your computer?
Me: Yeah, but I'm going to keep that to use with my laptop. I left you guys with the track-n-ball mouse that came with the computer.
Mother:Oh, okay. Well, if you don't use it or give it to one of your friends, may we have it? I think it would be easier on my back.
She wasn't joking either. She was completely serious in that.
Before I gave my parents my desktop, I went ahead and wiped my computer. You know, get rid of programs I'd been using, any spyware that might be on there, etc, etc. Well, other than my mother being positive that I was trying to hide something, she was also positive I was going to break the computer while wiping it. After I had finished wiping it...
Dad:*frustrated tone* You do know that you can only use that reinstall disk a certain amount of times...
Mother:*rushing in all panicked* WHAT!?! HE BROKE THE COMPUTER!?!
Me:...... *thinking* What the hell is wrong with you people?
Then of course there was the RAM situation. My computer had 1GB of RAM because my friend and I were both using it for gaming and such, but since my parents would only be doing basic web surfing and such, I didn't think they'd need it (A friend's computer runs just fine off of 128 MB of RAM and that'd leave them with twice that). I simply asked them if I could have half of the RAM to give to a friend and my mother flipped out. She fussed and ranted for the next 30 minutes and stuff and then said this the next weekend.
Mother: Thank you for being understanding about the computer thing. There's a lot of UFO videos* I'm downloading that they're trying to delete and I want to have plenty of room to store them on.
Me:Wtf?!? RAM has nothing to do with storage space, that's the Hard Drive, I've TOLD you this.
I don't think she's actually downloading, just watching them on youtube and google video... Yeah, she used to call "printing" "downloading" too...
Yeah... She's completely crazy to boot. Example
Last year on Christmas a bunch of my friends came over because that's where we just kind of gathered. The next day I come downstairs and my mother is putting out snacks and left overs while informing me that they're all coming over again. She actually looked up there phone numbers on the caller ID and tracked them all down, and invited them all back over... Needless to say I've erased my friend's numbers from the house phone and they only call my cell phone now...
*She says she saw a UFO when she was younger and is completely obsessed with them. If they show something on TV about UFOs, she's probably already seen it three times...